Finished: June 21, 2024
Why I read this
Continuing the unexpectedly long path of reading most of the Pulitzer Prize winners, I’ve arrived at Olive Kitteridge. As with many of the books I’ve read recently, I knew almost nothing of the plot before starting the read. I prefer it this way honestly. It’s always nice to discover something new and for the first time. So unfortunately the reason I read this is simply that it won a prize once and I had the book on hand, but I’m happy again to continue to read from a diverse set of authors and categories. I really believe continuing to read many different books like this, I have improved, if only slightly, my ability to think from other perspectives.
What I learned
Returning again (for what feels like the 100th time, since I am also reading Cujo on audio at the same time) to small town Maine, Olive Kitteridge explores the deep emotions hidden in the daily slog of life between our few more explosive moments, or as Olive would say our “little bursts”. Written in short stories about a cast of characters, the reader is constantly reminded that even if we have the principal role in our own story, there is a whole world of supporting characters that have their own thoughts, feelings, emotions, needs and desires.
What struck me most of this diverse membership were the feelings and emotions of Olive herself. The perspective of the sharp, aged mother is not one that I have often emphasized with, and this was the perfect occasion to connect better with this group with whom I have little connection. So despite her crotchety personality I found myself moved by her thoughts and emotions. When seen from the outside perspective of the other characters, she often appeared intolerable, with frequent questions of how on Earth her husband puts up with her. But once her perspective is revealed in later chapters, the question is answered by how she views herself, and how her husband no doubt is able to see her. Like in How to Win Friends and Influence People she of course does not see herself as a bad, or misaligned person. She see’s herself as a demanding, but loving mother who wants nothing but the best for her husband and child. She see’s her severity as a method for instilling good values in her son and her countless students. Moreover, her system has clearly worked for some when you hear the stories of her ex-students. In this way it is saddening to see when despite her good intentions others cannot, or will not, accept her flaws and reject her, leaving her hurt and confused. It is a classic case of how seeing the inside of a person’s thoughts or feelings can make you almost always feel for them and take their side.
Beyond Olive I found the repeated theme of fidelity, and the reasons for why one might lapse into infidelity, to be a meaningful and deeper than usual look into what it means to love and to be loved. Many of the stories focused on those young and old who experienced doubt in their relationships in a wide range of conditions. Although never acceptable, you see the reasoning and interactions involved in each incident and at a minimum you can understand what led to these situations. It reminded me a bit of Talking With Strangers by Malcolm Gladewell and how he was able to tackle immesely emotional subjects from an analytical perspective where you could understand the problem wholistically without being lost in the disgust of the action. As always I simply enjoyed characters that acted the way I think real humans do, all of the flaws and challenges included.
I also enjoyed the insertion of an extremely traumatic story in the middle of the book, and then a transition back to more rather quotidien stories. It highlighted that life has ups and downs, and although there will be some enormous and life changing events in the flow of each person’s life, after each of these events the normal and daily will return. The world is remarkably resistant to major changes and the inertia of our lifes cannot be easily guided in another direction. It also represents the heartiness and adaptability of the human race, which I always find incredible. How we can adapt to almost any condition and remain unbroken. It’s true that trauma can dramatically affect people, often in cripplingly negative ways, but at the same time a remarkable number of people have withstood horrible things in their lives and remained strong in the face of such adversity. Having avoided major trauma for most of my life I asked myself how I would handle exposure to such extreme events, and I’m not sure anyone can answer that question before the experience. I’m sure this is a question psychologists will beat themselves up over for the next few hundred years and never find an acceptable method of predicting the outcome of misfortune.
What I didn’t like
I have never been one for short stories. I find too often that it takes me a few pages or even a few hours, to build a connection with a character. In my sci-fi favorites Ender’s Game, The Dark Tower, Dune, there are hundreds (if not thousands) of pages developing single human characters. So much so that I think one of the rare times in my adult life I’ve cried was during the 7th volume of The Dark Tower when a main character was killed. After all those pages together he felt like a real person, not just a character, and it was heartbreaking to lose him. With shortstories I’ve rarely, if ever, felt even a semblance of that connection. I’ve read plenty of King short stories, but honestly I can only name a couple of them now, and even then most feel a bit unremarkable. Even now thinking back to Olive Kitteridge a week later I strugle to recall each of the characters and their individual stories. Maybe it would not have won a Pulitzer written differently, but I believe I would have enjoyed it more if a few of the characters had been cut and the plot a bit more centralized.
Questions I asked
How can people bear to live in this world we have built around loving one another and being loved, without finding that spark for themselves?
Why do so many people seem to end up trapped in loveless relationships? Why can’t they get themselves out of them?
Can intentions really be good enough? Can you accept people in your life with heavily negative qualities because you know they mean well by you?
My Favorite Quote
“For who could bear to think of himself this way, as a man deflated by the good fortune of others? No, such a thing is ludicrous.”
Henry Kitteridge
Books I liked like this one
Gilead : Marilynne Robinson (for thoughts of life from the perspective of an older person)
Empire Falls : Richard Russo (for the depth found in a web of small town interactions)
Book Reviews for Mom 