Finished: August 20, 2023
Why I read this
Part of my idea to read more often includes trying different things and reading a variety of material. From my recent reads I usually stick to sci-fi, prize winning fiction, and sociology with some self help. This recommendation from my sister I thought would be from more of the self-help side (and it is) but the spirituality portions are definitely something new to me that was interesting to experience!
What I learned
The messages of this book I think can be extremely powerful. The four agreements to make with yourself that are discussed are great guiding principles and definitely will lead you to an improved life. I was constantly reminded of quotes that related to some of the other books I’ve read in the same category which I found very interesting. Many of the other books were built much more on research, interviews, or at a minimum highly documented personal experience. This one was based on ancient Toltec wisdom. Yet these two sources worked rather in the same way.
Some examples of overlap include:
The Toltec dream and the fictions that society creates discussed in “Sapiens”
The idea that we are born essentially equal and only those mentally strong enough to persevere and do their best constantly will achieve the incredible is shared with Mindset
The idea that no one will do anything unless they want to do it is shared with “how to win friends and influence people”
The idea that we have internal agreements and we have to focus on the ones that are important is very similar to the discussion on values in “the subtle art of not giving a fuck”
The emphasis on change over time little by little is very close to the 1% improvement per day in Atomic Habits
What I didn’t like
The messages in this book are powerful, and it is exactly why ultimately I don’t like it very much. They are much too strict and much too overwhelming, and frankly if everyone acted exactly as described in this book I’m not sure the world would be much better.
For example, if no one ever took anything personally, feared no judgement, and just acted how they wanted to act. Take that too far and you have people treating other people terribly because “I am this way and I will act how I want because I am happy with me, you can accept that or leave”. I’ve met people like this in my life and it’s terrible. The common human dream described in the book has its benefits and its needs in society. If you do not fit into these standards (at least some of them), you will not be accepted by the majority of society. That is ok, but it needs to be a conscious decision, and someone who just wants to fit in reading this book will find that much harder after acting this way.
Overall I think it is a great group of teachings but should be applied 90% of the time instead of always.
Questions I asked
What does it look like if you really take these agreements to the extremes?
Is it more important to make ourselves happy, or to make others happy?
Are there universal principles or “dreams” we should adopt as a society?
My Favorite Quote
“We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do”
“When we believe something, we assume we are right about it to the point that we will destroy relationships in order to defend our position”
Don Miguel Ruiz
Books I liked like this one
Mindset: Carol S. Dweck (for the power of your own mind)
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: Mark Manson (for the emphasis on key values)
Book Reviews for Mom 